Fit measures the sense of belonging within a group. It is probably one of the most fundamental needs of your child as she/he grows up. Even as an adult, her/his relationships – with family, friends, business associates, her religious community – will be a source of emotional and material support.

A name can help build trust and a sense of kinship – even win exclusive favors – if it makes her/him recognizable as a member of the group. In naming her/him, then, you have to master two challenges. One is to predict which groups your child will belong to. Her/his life is full of variables you cannot possibly know today – what she/he will end up doing for a living, what family she/he will marry into, which school she/he will go to. You cannot really know. The other challenge is whether you want to emphasize or deemphasize her/his inclusion in these groups. This decision can partly be based on the expected benefits of keeping doors open to outside groups, versus the benefits of increasing the recognition and related favors from your own group. In large part it is a decision based on your values, driven by your feelings toward your group and toward others.

Groups that will almost certainly play an important role in your child’s life: your family, your ethnic group, and your religious community.